Full House may be a popular sitcom from the late ’80s and early ’90s, but there’s no arguing with the fact that the show is incredibly corny. Even the well-known taglines like Michelle Tanner’s “you got it dude” or Uncle Jesse exclaiming “watch the hair” can be grating after a while.
Despite the cheesy nature of the show, there are actually a lot of quotes that make us laugh to this day, whether we’re catching a random re-run or just looking back on the show we grew up with. Here are 10 quotes from Full House that are actually funny.
“My, how you’ve aged.”
Stephanie (Jodie Sweetin), D.J. (Candace Cameron Bure), and Michelle (Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen) are really cute siblings who light up whatever scene they’re in together. When the girls see some photos of them as kids in the season three episode “Star Search,” Stephanie thinks that she’s looking at a snapshot of her. She calls herself “adorable” and DJ says “Steph, that’s me!” Stephanie’s response? “My, how you’ve aged.”
Stephanie has a wise-beyond-her-years sense of humor and often says things in a very dry, flat tone. This is one of her best quotes that is actually hilarious.
“Honey, they’re not boys. They’re men. They’re Katsopolis men.”
In the season eight episode “Breaking Away,” Uncle Jesse (John Stamos) and Aunt Becky (Lori Loughlin) have to adjust to their twin sons, Nicky and Alex, going to school. Becky is super emotional and says, “Honey, look at this. Two little lunch-boxes with two little handles and they’ll hold as they walk out of our lives. Jess, they’re not ready for preschool. They’re just little boys.”
Uncle Jesse’s reply is that they’re “Katsopolis men” and it’s a really funny quote. He’s always trying to be really macho, but he’s hiding a sweet, vulnerable side, and of course he’s just as upset about his kids growing up as his wife is.
“Dust… When did we have a kid?”
Uncle Jesse and Aunt Becky have the cutest family, and it’s impossible to imagine their twins not being a part of Full House. But back in the second season of the show, they were simply discussing baby names.
Becky says she loves the names Prescott and Emily, and Jesse insists on Dustin. When she keeps repeating that Prescott is her preferred boy name, he says, “Dust… When did we have a kid?” This is a Full House that is actually funny since so many couples can relate to this familiar conversation.
“Not if it’s a girl.”
In the season three episode “Dr. Dare Rides Again,” Danny (Bob Saget) and his daughters are naming their dog (who ends up being called Comet, of course). Stephanie suggests “Mr. Dog.” When D.J. says, “Mr.Dog? Steph when you have a kid someday what are you going to name it? Mr.Baby?” Stephanie replies, “Not if it’s a girl.”
This is another quote from Full House that is actually hilarious. Stephanie’s delivery is so perfect and she really has good timing here.
“Bruce Springsteen is the boss.”
Danny’s season six quote is another funny one. He’s chatting with Michelle in the episode “The House Meets The Mouse” and he tells her, “Sounds like you were trying to be the boss.” She says, “The princess is the boss” and he makes his Bruce Springsteen joke.
This is one of the character’s greatest lines and it’s particularly great since it’s not about cleaning. Sure, it’s pretty funny when he goes into his clean freak mode, but this joke is a nice departure from his usual conversation. It’s even funnier since Michelle has clearly no idea who he’s talking about.
“Do babies get hairballs?”
Uncle Jesse asks this very funny (and totally ridiculous) question in the season one episode “Knock Yourself Out,” making this one of the actually hilarious quotes from Full House. Uncle Joey (Dave Gladstone) and Jesse are upset because Michelle is coughing a lot. Stephanie comments that it “sounds like a hairball.”
This is a great example of when Joey and Jesse are taking care of the girls and being really silly in the process. They love them so much that it’s tugging at our heartstrings and also making us laugh.
“You lost my daughter? I went to work for seven hours and you lost 33% of my children?”
This Danny Tanner quote is from the pilot and it’s another really funny one. It wouldn’t be quite so good if he hadn’t been so specific and said “33 percent of my children.” That’s Danny: specific, precise, and analytical.
It’s impossible to imagine another TV character (or even someone IRL) saying something like this. They would be too focused on the fact that their kid was nowhere to be found. Danny, however, can’t help but say this.
“You’re hugging me in a room with pink bunnies.”
Also from the pilot, this Uncle Jesse quote is one for the books. It’s clear that he’s having some trouble adjusting to his new life and reality: being a full-time caregiver for Danny’s three daughters.
But of course, Jesse also loves every minute of it, and he just has to get used to things.
“I gotta go potty.”
Michelle says this hilarious quote in the season four episode “A Pinch For A Pinch.” It’s a perfect response to what Danny is explaining. He says, “Michelle is getting an academic foundation that’s going to carry her through grades K through 12, through college, through Harvard law school. Jess, you have robbed our nation of one of the finest legal minds the supreme court has ever known.”
Michelle, being a little kid, responds the best she knows how: by saying she has to use the bathroom. It’s a priceless moment (and also a teaching one, this being Full House, since Jesse told Michelle to stand up to a bully by pinching him right back).
“I’ll stay home and watch public television.”
It’s off to school for Stephanie in the season one episode “The First Day of School.” When Danny asks, “Steph, don’t you want to go to school and be smart?” Stephanie says, “I’ll stay home and watch public television.”
This is definitely the funniest quote from Full House and of course it’s said by Stephanie, who is one of the most hilarious characters on the heartwarming sitcom. She just always knows the right thing to say.
